How to Stop Coming Fast: Tips and Treatments for PE

Learn about the best tips and treatments to avoid ejaculating too quickly

a man in bed with his partner trying not to come too fast

Premature ejaculation is a condition affecting men all around the world. How common is it? Research estimates that nearly a third of all men have PE!

But what does ‘premature’ really mean? How soon is too soon? For some experts, PE means ejaculating in under a minute from the time of penetration (or even before penetration). However, we define premature ejaculation more broadly: as ejaculation which happens before a man or his partner are ready for sex to end.

The good news is that premature ejaculation treatments are available. In this article, we’ll give you an overview of all the best available tips, tricks and treatments for stopping PE. Let’s start with the Squeeze Technique:

The Squeeze Technique

The squeeze technique is a popular and effective behavioral sex therapy technique that trains you to last longer in bed. You can practice the exercise on your own during masturbation, or with a partner during sex.

How does it work? Start by stimulating the penis and allow your arousal to build. Notice the signs and signals that your body sends you. Watch for the “point of no return”, which is the moment at which a bit more stimulation will cause you to come. Just before you reach this point, use your thumb and forefinger to tightly squeeze just below the head (glans) of the penis, in order to avoid coming. Maintain a firm squeeze for about 10 seconds, but loosen your grip if you start to feel pain. Then, when your arousal subsides, you can resume with stimulation again.

Now, repeat this process 2 – 3 times before allowing yourself to ejaculate.

What makes this exercise effective at stopping you from coming too quickly? The squeeze technique teaches you to identify the feelings and sensations that arise during sex. With practice, the squeeze technique helps you build a better tolerance to sexual stimulation, which gives you more control over your arousal levels and the timing of ejaculation.

In other words, after practicing this for a while, you should be able to control your ejaculation without using the squeeze technique.

The squeeze technique is a very effective method for treating PE. However, most people don’t know that for it to work properly, the squeeze technique needs to be practiced as part of an organized training program. Want to learn more about the squeeze technique? Then read this article.

The Stop-Start Method

This is another behavioral sex therapy exercise, designed to help men who ejaculate too fast. The approach is very similar to the squeeze technique. However, instead of squeezing, you simply stop stimulation before reaching the point of no return. Then, you take a few moments to allow your level of arousal to lower before you start stimulating again; and then repeat the process until you are finally allowed to ejaculate.

The stop-start method works by teaching you to better identify your “point of no return” and control your arousal to stop yourself from reaching this point too quickly. With enough practice, your stamina will improve and you’ll be able to delay ejaculation without stopping during sex.

You can practice the stop-start method alone during masturbation, or with a partner during sex. However, as with the squeeze technique, this method needs to be used as part of a structured training program for it to be really effective. You can visit this page if you would like to learn more about the Stop-Start method.

Medications

Did you know that a certain class of antidepressants, known as SSRIs, can delay ejaculation? The most common drugs used for this purpose are sertraline (Zoloft) and paroxetine. Keep in mind, though, that these are not drugs for PE: they are antidepressants that can temporarily stop the symptoms of PE.

However, there is a new drug called Priligy (dapoxetine) which is being sold in Europe for this purpose, but the drug has not yet been approved in the US.

If you want to learn more about the best premature ejaculation medication for you, speak to your doctor.

Keep in mind that while medication may temporarily mask the symptoms of PE, it doesn’t cure the problem. In addition, not all medications work for all men – and there are side effects to consider.

Studies show that people who use SSRIs to delay premature ejaculation get the best results when combining it with the squeeze technique or the stop-start method.

Desensitizing Delay Sprays, Creams and Gels

These products contain a numbing agent (usually lidocaine). How do you use the delay spray (or cream or gel)? You Apply it to the penis 5 – 20 minutes before sex. This temporarily decreases penis sensitivity which should help you to stop ejaculating too fast.

Do male delay sprays really work? Research suggests that they can be effective to delay ejaculation. Some of the best delay sprays on the market at the moment include Promescent and Stud 100. Keep in mind, though, that there can be side-effects to using these products, including skin irritation and loss of erection.

Condoms

Wearing a thick enough condom can decrease sensitivity and help you to prolong sex. Some condoms (typically called ‘delay condoms’) contain an additional numbing agent, which temporarily desensitizes the penis. Some of the best delay condoms on the market include Durex Delay and Trojan Extend.

Masturbating Before Sex

Does masturbation before sex make you last longer? For some men, it can help. Why? This is because of the ‘refractory period’, which is the time that it takes for your body to be ready to have another erection after ejaculation. Once the refractory period is over, you will need more stimulation in order to come again, meaning that you may last longer in bed.

So, in theory, masturbating 2 hours before sex can help delay ejaculation the second time around. This works for some men, but often it can be tricky to time the masturbation. This also tends to take some of the spontaneity out of sex.

Another problem is that as men get older, the refractory period extends. For some older men, they need 24 – 48 hours before they are ready to have sex the second time around.

Manage Sexual Anxiety

How can managing anxiety around sex help you delay ejaculation? Many men suffer from sexual performance anxiety, which often leads to premature ejaculation. When you’re anxious, you’re likely to be disconnected from your body, potentially leading to you coming too fast.

Understanding the causes of your anxiety and learning ways to cope is an important first step for stopping PE. Working with a psychologist or sex therapist can help greatly. If you want to learn more about how sexual anxiety can affect your stamina and what can you to do overcome it, take a look at this article.

Do Viagra or Cialis Help with Premature Ejaculation?

Medications like Viagra (sildenafil) and Cialis (Tadalafil) are prescribed for erectile dysfunction. Contrary to popular belief, they do not help with preventing coming too fast.

Some men believe that Viagra keeps you hard after coming, or that Cialis can keep you hard after ejaculation – this is not the case, however.

Men who are anxious about being able to stay hard may rush the process of penetration, because they are worried about losing their erection. This causes stress, which can make the man ejaculate too quickly. In this instance, taking ED medication can help manage performance anxiety (acting as a placebo), which can then help a man last longer. However, the medication is not treating the root cause: there are better ways to deal with sexual performance anxiety. ED medication is only appropriate when you suffer from erectile dysfunction alongside premature ejaculation.

Use the Right Sex Positions

There are certain sex positions that make it easier to delay ejaculation. In particular, sex positions that reduce stimulation to the sensitive underside of the penis work well. For example, spooning, side-by-side sex and having your partner on top often work well.

Also, focus on slowing down during sex, and reducing the force of thrust. If you would like to learn more about sex positions for men who come too quickly, take a look at this article.

Takeaway

Premature ejaculation affects men all over the world. In fact, premature ejaculation is the most common sexual disorder for men. Unfortunately, this can have a negative impact on a person’s psychological health and relationship.

 It’s important, therefore, that you get the right treatment. In this article, we have also provided extensive tips and tricks for delaying ejaculation. Apply these and improve your sex life today.

About Daniel Sher, MA

Clinical Psychologist and Sex Therapy Expert

Daniel Sher is a registered clinical psychologist and a sex therapy expert practicing in Cape Town, South Africa. Daniel gained his master’s degree in clinical psychology from the University of Cape Town (UCT) in 2014. A component of his training and practice involves working in the context of sexual and sex-related issues.

Daniel is a professional consultant for the Between Us Clinic, where he writes, edits, and reviews, professional materials and articles. He also treats patients at his clinic for male sexual dysfunctions including, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety.