Premature ejaculation is a devastating issue many men deal with. Find out what you can do to stop premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions in men. According to an extensive review that was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, about 30 percent of men will deal with some form of premature ejaculation in their life.
Premature ejaculation (PE) can have overwhelming effects on a man’s self-esteem, relationships and his or his partner’s general quality of life.
Luckily, PE is also one of the most easily treatable sexual conditions. Over the next few paragraphs we will review the possible things you can do to prevent PE. But first let’s explain exactly what PE is.
What Is Premature Ejaculation?
The definition of premature ejaculation varies between different experts. The formal definition of PE is: “ejaculation which occurs within one minute of penetration and an inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations.”
But we, like many other sex therapists prefer to define premature ejaculation as ejaculation that occurs before a man or his partner wishes to, even if it lasts for over a minute.
The 4 Types of Premature Ejaculation
Most men are unaware of the fact that there are four different types of premature ejaculation: lifelong, acquired, variable and subjective. This means some men suffer from PE from their first sexual experience and some ‘acquire’ it at a later stage in life; for some it happens consistently and for some only on certain occasions; and there are some men who have normal ejaculatory control but still think they suffer from PE.
The good news is that all four types of PE can be treated! But to understand how to prevent premature ejaculation, we first need to understand what causes it.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation could be caused by a number of underlying reasons. While for most PE patients these reasons remain unknown, the end result is the same: Men who suffer from PE have a limited ability to identify their ‘point of no return’ – meaning they don’t recognize they are about to come before it’s too late. This prevents them from being able to control their ejaculation and improve their sexual stamina.
You can think about developing ejaculatory control like learning to walk on a rope. Imagine trying to learn to walk on that rope without being able to feel when you are about to fall. You will probably not be able to do that for more than few seconds, so you can never improve your balance and strength. PE is the same. For some underlying reason, men with PE cannot identify the feelings and sensations they experience before orgasm until it is too late.
So, what can you do to improve your ability to identify the ‘point of no return’ in time?
Stopping Premature Ejaculation Using Behavioral Sex Therapy Exercises
Since PE is caused by a limited ability to identify the ‘point of no return’, the question is: what can you do about it? The answer is behavioral sex therapy exercises.
Behavioral sex therapy exercises are special masturbation or full penetration exercises that are designed to teach men with PE to better identify their ‘point of no return’, and afterwards use this ability while training to delay orgasm.
During the exercise you will practice identifying your ‘point of no return’ and then prolonging the time until ejaculation. In each exercise you or your partner will stimulate your penis until your arousal level almost reaches the ‘point of no return’. Then, you will need to cease the stimulation so your arousal level will go down. Once you’re relaxed, continue with stimulation. You will need to repeat this process several times. With practice, the time until ejaculation will increase and your control will improve.
There are two common methods which are used in the exercises:
- The Squeeze Technique – In this technique the patient is instructed to cease the stimulation and preform a firm squeeze on the glans penis.
- The Stop-Start Method – Using this method, like its name suggests, the patient simply ceases the stimulation and waits for the arousal level to go down.
The treatment protocol includes a number of steps and contains different stimulation techniques and/or positions. Each step provides a higher stimulation level than the one before. The pace in which you progress between the exercises varies between person to person.
At the end of the treatment you should be able to last longer, and to control your ejaculation simply by lowering and increasing the stimulation’s strength and speed. Just like a man without PE does.
Who Is This Right For?
Even though it is our favorite form of treatment, behavioral therapy may still not suit all men. Here is a list of its pros and cons.
- Results take time and effort – It takes time (usually between 4-12 weeks) and effort. From our experience, not all men are willing to put the effort. But if PE is something that you seriously want to overcome, we believe you would find it worthwhile.
- Care may be required – It is very important to know when is the right time to move between the exercises for the treatment to properly work. A personal treatment plan created and supervised by a sex therapy professional is the best way to gain results.
- Long-term solution – The main advantage of behavioral sex therapy exercises is that they provide a long-term solution. By training yourself you acquire a new ability. Many men find this to be incredibly satisfying.
- Can improve your relationship – If therapy is done with a partner (not mandatory) it has the potential to bring the couple closer together, improve the relationship and increase intimacy.
- Effective – These exercises have been in use by sex therapists as a primary treatment option for PE for over 5 decades. Numerous studies have shown their efficacy. This recent 2006 study shows an 8.5 increase in duration of intercourse for PE patients.
- Spontaneous sex life – You will not be dependent on any medications or outer materials. This also allows you to enjoy a stress-free and spontaneous sex life.
Where to Seek Treatment
If you are interested in having an exercise-based treatment plan created for you, you can schedule an appointment with a sex therapist. To find a sex therapist near you, search the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists website.
You can also sign up to the PE Program, an online personalized exercise program for the self-treatment of premature ejaculation. The PE Program was created with the help of world renowned sex therapist Dr. Zvi Zuckerman. You can learn more about it here.
Dealing with Premature Ejaculation
While sex therapy may be the only way to learn to improve your ejaculatory control without being dependent on outer supplements, there a few other solutions that help men deal with the symptoms of premature ejaculation.
Prescription Anti-Depressants and Pain Killers
Some sex therapists off-label prescription anti-depressants or pain killers for premature ejaculation patients. Off-labeling means taking advantage of the side-effects of a drug that was designed to treat one problem in order to treat a different problem. Two of the most common sexual side effects of these drugs are delayed ejaculation and loss of sexual desire.
Some common anti-depressants from the SSRI group such as Prozac and Seroxat and may have the outcome of delayed ejaculation.
Who Is This Right For
While many men are reluctant to take psychiatric pills, this may still be a viable option. Here is a list of its pros and cons.
- Can cause side effects -These drugs can cause various side effects such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, drowsiness, and reduced libido.
- Loss of spontaneity – There is a loss of spontaneity with some of these drugs. Anafranil (Clomipramine), for example, is only effective six hours after administration. This means you either have to take them daily or six hours before every sexual encounter.
- High costs – The costs can become significant over time.
- Temporary solution -The most important disadvantage in our opinion is the fact that the drugs do not treat the problem, only the symptoms. Once you stop taking them, for whatever reason, your PE will return.
- Easy – The obvious most advantage is the little effort it requires. After your trip to the doctor’s office all you have to do is take the drug as instructed.
- Effective – For some men the drugs can be highly effective. If this is the case for you, you don’t experience any side-effects, and you are ok with the idea of using psychiatric prescription drugs, this could be an excellent solution.
Where to Seek Treatment
Since all of these drugs require a prescription, you would have to schedule an appointment with a licensed doctor, preferably a sex therapist. You can find a list of sex therapists near you at the AASECT website.
Desensitizing Sprays, Creams and Condoms
Another solution that has been in use for many years and is shown to increase ejaculation latency time is the use of numbing materials. These usually come in the form of a spray or cream which you apply to the penis. Today there are also condoms which include the numbing material inside them. In our experience, they are not effective since the desensitizing material takes about 5-20 minutes to absorb.
Who Is This Right For
We listed to pros and cons to help you find out if desensitizing materials are right for you:
- Decreased enjoyment – An obvious disadvantage is that since the material numbs the penis your enjoyment could be decreased. Still, some men put their partner’s satisfaction before their own and feel this is a small price to pay.
- Loss of spontaneity – The material should be applied to the penis while flaccid 20 minutes before penetration.
- Risk of numbing the partner – There is a risk that the material would pass on to your partner’s vagina, numbing her as well. It is important to make sure the material is completely absorbed before penetration or having oral sex.
- Not easy to use – Finding the right dosage is a delicate process. Not applying enough will be ineffective, while applying too much will greatly decrease your sexual enjoyment, and may actually render you unable to achieve an erection.
- A temporary solution – The most important disadvantage in our opinion is the fact that this is only a temporary solution. Once you stop using the desensitizers, your PE will return.
- Effective – The desensitizing materials have been shown to be effective. They have been marketed for over 25 years. Some studies have shown desensitizing materials can help men last up to 6.3 times longer.
- Quick results – It is a quick and easy solution, and unlike the drugs we mentioned before, they don’t require a prescription
Where to Seek Treatment
You can purchase desensitizing sprays, creams or condoms in many pharmacies without a prescription. They are also available in many online stores.
Tips on What to Look Out for – Ineffective Things Men with Premature Ejaculation Do
Premature ejaculation is an incredibly common issue, but since many men find it embarrassing they are reluctant to talk about it with a professional. While there is some good advice online there is also a lot of bad information, from simply ineffective tips to counterproductive ideas. Here is a list of common bad advice you should look out for:
Relying on the Second Round
Masturbating before sex or just having more than one orgasm during sex is a common tip. It is true that some men are able to last longer during the second time. The problem with this solution is that it is shortsighted. As a man gets older, the time it takes to get an erection after ejaculation increases.
Some of our clients are older men who used to rely on the second time and decided to treat their problem when they could no longer get a second erection quickly enough.
Trying Different Sex Positions
It is true that it is easier to control ejaculation in some sex positions, but if you truly suffer from PE, relying on a sex position to solve the problem is unrealistic. If you decide to treat PE you could try those positions after completing the treatment (just as some men without PE use different positions to pace themselves).
Drinking Alcohol or Using Illegal Drugs
You don’t need us to tell you that this is not a long-term strategy. Excessive consumption of alcohol or illegal drugs provides a serious health risk, and you should definitely avoid it. Drinking or using drugs every time you want to have sex is a bad idea. But other than the health risks, it is also counterproductive. As we mentioned earlier, PE is caused by an inability to identify the feelings and sensations that you experience before orgasm. Instead of being more in touch with your body, alcohol only reduces your focus and perpetuates your problem.
To Sum Things Up
Premature ejaculation is a very common sexual dysfunction, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is also one of the most treatable sexual dysfunctions. Behavioral sex therapy exercises provide a long-term solution for PE. You can learn to use this method with the help of a sex therapist or with the PE Program – an online exercise program for self-treatment of premature ejaculation. There are also several temporary solutions available such as desensitizers or pills.
Don’t let PE discourage you! Take action, and sooner rather than later this could all be behind you.