Why Can’t I Last Longer in Bed?
It is true that premature ejaculation can have a variety of underlying causes. These causes can be physical, psychological, or genetic. They may have been present all along, or they could be newly developed. None of these causes is anything to feel shame or embarrassment over. They are incredibly common, and are largely out of a man’s control.
But no matter what the underlying cause is, the treatment is the same. This is why the technique we offer for overcoming PE suits almost every man.
The ‘here and now’ cause of premature ejaculation
The ‘main cause for PE’ is an inability to identify the ‘point of no return’. If, for some reason, you are unable to identify the signals your body is sending you during sex, you will not be able to pace yourself, and therefore, cannot prolong sex.
Take a look at the graph below – it describes the sexual process for men who don’t suffer from PE:
The sexual process has four steps:
The main difference between men suffering from PE and those who are not is the ability to extend and maintain the plateau stage.
Men without PE know how to identify the upcoming ‘point of no return’ and pace themselves. They use this ability to last longer during sex.
For a man suffering from PE, this stage is short to non-existent. The ejaculation occurs within a short time, mostly before he wanted it to, and with no capability of delaying it.
If you suffer from PE your entire life, your inability to identify the ‘point of no return’ has prevented you from being able to build your sexual stamina!
If you started suffering from PE all of a sudden, or if you suffer from PE inconsistently, you have probably lost touch with your body, and you need to regain your sexual consciousness.
You can think about it as training for a marathon, you have to know your body, and pay attention to your heart rate, muscles and breathing…. If you are not in sync with your body, you will probably tire yourself before the end of the run. Only after you get to know your body’s responses can you practice running long distances. Controlling ejaculation is the same.
This is why the key to overcoming PE is to learn to be aware of the feelings you have during sexual arousal, learning to identify your ‘point of no return’, and then use this ability to practice building your stamina.
The good news is that our premature ejaculation program contains exercises to teach just that! You can read more about them and about our premature ejaculation program by clicking here.
- Read more about our premature ejaculation program here.
- Scroll down to learn about the underlying causes of premature ejaculation
- Learn about the effects of premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation underlying causes
For many years, the cause of all premature ejaculation cases was thought to be a learning behavioral problem. Research now shows that premature ejaculation can be caused by a variety of factors. The truth is that, for most patients, the underlying cause remains unknown. With that said, it is good to understand the possible causes.
A learning behavioral problem
When a man has sex for the first time, he is so aroused that he ejaculates without fully comprehending what is happening. This is natural. But with time and exercise, the average man will learn to recognize the feelings of arousal that precede orgasm, which leads to the development of control over the ejaculatory reflex.
In many men who experience premature ejaculation, there was some kind of disturbance or interruption in their natural learning process. This interruption caused them to not recognize their ‘point of no return’. Because of this, they are unable to prolong the plateau stage, delay orgasm, and exert control over their ejaculatory reflex. This learning behavioral problem frequently develops due to stressful environments that surround sex in adolescence. For example, having sex while parents or other family members are home, or at a party when others are just outside the bedroom door.
Low levels of serotonin
Serotonin is a chemical in the brain that is popularly thought to be a contributor to a feeling of well-being and happiness. Recent studies have revealed a lower level of serotonin in men that suffer from premature ejaculation in comparison to men who experience a more standard sexual process.
According to research conducted by Marcel D. Waldinger, a neuropsychiatrist, 91% of lifelong premature ejaculation cases are caused by genetic factors. We must note that this in no way indicates these cases are not treatable.
Psychological factors can both cause premature ejaculation outright, or worsen existing cases. The most common psychological causes of premature ejaculation are:
- Sexual performance anxiety. Anxiety surrounding sexual intercourse can stem from negative thoughts, sexual inexperience, bad sexual experiences, the stress of trying to perform or trying to impress the partner, and a lack of sexual education or unrealistic expectations of sexual relations (which can be caused by a number of issues, including a conservative upbringing, or the viewing of pornography at a young age).
- Stress. Problems in a variety of areas in life may cause stress, which can manifests itself as premature ejaculation. Work, financial, new relationships and relationship problems are common examples.
- Deep psychological issues. These can include sexual abuse, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.
What does all this mean?
Some men may be able to easily determine the cause of their premature ejaculation, while others may never know what is behind the issue. What is truly important is to know that, no matter what is causing the issue, it is treatable with an exercise-based program.
Click here to read about the Between Us Clinic’s Premature Ejaculation Program – an online web app that contains a premature ejaculation exercise program or continue to learn about the effects of premature ejaculation.
*We must note that in rare cases, premature ejaculation can be caused by an underlying medical condition. We recommend having regular wellness check-ups, or seeking the advice of a doctor, especially if premature ejaculation has started suddenly.