Sexual Performance Anxiety

Many men are troubled by sexual performance anxiety. The good news is that there are solutions that help address the anxiety.

By Jeffery Waters, Public Relations Manager, Mental Impotence Healer

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual performance anxiety is one of the most common sexual issues men deal with. Feeling pressure and stress because you want to impress your partner, or having concerns about your body image is completely normal.

When stress turns into anxiety though, a man can suffer from sexual dysfunctions even if he is physically healthy. Performance anxiety usually leads to erectile dysfunction but it can also be the cause for premature ejaculation, delayed or blocked ejaculation and loss of libido.

The good news is that there are things you can do to stop your sexual performance anxiety!

What causes sexual performance anxiety?

Negative sex-related thoughts are usually the cause for sexual performance anxiety. In the western society there are cultural and social pressures on men to perform sexually.

When you take these pressures, worries about relationships, kids, work, financial issues and the competitive environment we live in into account, it is really no wonder so many men suffer from performance anxiety.

Have you ever had the following thoughts?

  • What if she thinks I’m too small?
  • What if I can’t make her orgasm?
  • What if I ejaculate early?
  • What if she doesn’t like my body?
  • What if she tells others about her bad experience?

If these kind of thoughts runs through your head when you are about to have sex you are on the path to sexual performance anxiety.

How can I know if my sexual issue is stress-related?

Performance anxiety affects men differently. The most common effect is psychological erectile dysfunction. When the body becomes stressed blood flow to the penis, which is required for an erection, can decrease.

To know if your erectile dysfunction is stress-related, answer to following question: “ Are you able to perform sexually when you are not stressed?” If you have morning erections and are able to control your erection   while masturbating, then your problem is probably stress-related.

Could this happen to me too?

The popular belief is that performance anxiety is a young men issue, but that is far from being true. In fact even elderly men can suffer from performance anxiety. In a relationship and married men can also develop performance anxiety, even after years of marriage. The day to day stresses can impact your sexual performance and after one or two bad experiences you can fall into the sexual performance anxiety cycle.

The sexual performance anxiety cycle

Men often fall into the vicious sexual performance anxiety cycle, after the first “bad” sexual experience. It is completely normal to not be able to achieve an erection, have an orgasm, or ejaculate prematurely once in a while. After all we are not machines and our sexual performance is influenced by many outer factors. The question is “How do you deal with this first sexual failure?” In many sexual anxiety cases, the man starts to be preoccupied by negative thoughts, that leads to more failures that further increase the anxiety and the cycle is created!

It is commonly believed that up to 20% of all erectile dysfunction cases are psychological.

Guided Imagery and Sexual Performance Anxiety

Guided Imagery for Sexual Performance Anxiety

Guided Imagery is a gentle yet powerful technique in which you listen to simple instructions given in a specific, descriptive language, intended to make you imagine a scenario to help your body overcome psychological and physical problems.

The unconscious mind can’t tell the difference between something you really experience and something you vividly imagine. So by using a light, trance-like state, we can speak directly to the unconscious mind.

During each guided imagery session, you visualize a successful sexual experience, learning how to stay hard and enjoy wonderful sex, knowing that your partner is also enjoying fantastic sex with you. So your unconscious mind reacts as though this has really happened. And because you have had such a successful sexual experience, you’re far less likely to have problems when you next have a genuine sexual experience.

The more you practice, the more your unconscious mind will think that you have now had many successful sexual experiences. As a result, it will automatically assume that future sexual experiences will also be successful. Your anxiety will reduce, and your ability to enjoy sex will increase too. It’s as simple as that.

Has this been proven to work?

Guided Imagery is actually a well-known therapeutic technique. It has proven to be effective for dealing with anxiety, lower blood pressure and help with other stress related issues.

Research published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology in August 1982 concluded that guided imagery “may be an effective procedure for helping cancer patients cope with the adverse effects of their chemotherapy”. The research showed that patients who received guided imagery therapy:

  • Reported feeling significantly less anxious and nauseated during chemotherapy;
  • Showed significantly less physiological arousal and less anxiety and depression immediately after chemotherapy; and
  • Reported significantly less severe and less protracted nausea at home following chemotherapy.

Another research, conducted by Professor K. Kuruvilla in 1984, found that most men who are treated with sexual re-education and guided imagery succeeded in overcoming their psychological erectile dysfunction, and were able to achieve erection whenever they wanted to.

Professor Kuruvilla was the Head of the Department of Psychiatry, Christian Medical College in Vellore, India. He conducted several research studies on this particular treatment. He noted that the long-term results of those who completed the treatment were especially encouraging.

Where can I get guided imagery treatment?

The first option is to write your own guided imagery script and record it, but guided imagery is most effective when it is created in a professional way.

There are many guided imagery scripts and recording for stress and anxiety around the internet which you can use as a starting point.

Mental Impotence Healer

You can also try the Mental Impotence Healer program which was created specifically for sexual performance anxiety.

Why does anxiety affect sexual performance?

To understand how our body works sexually, it is important to understand the difference between fear and anxiety first.

Fear is a natural mechanism that is there to protect us from danger. A man who doesn’t experience fear has a low chance of surviving (even in our times!) since he is not wise enough to avoid danger.

Anxiety is an overwhelming sense of fear that is out of proportion to what might be normally expected in a situationin our case sex

Sex is supposed to be fun but it is hard to enjoy yourself when you are in a state of anxiety. During moments of anxiety, the body releases stress-related hormones, the heart beats rapidly, the muscles tense, and, in some cases, the penis blood supply is reduced, which can lead to a loss of erection.

What are the symptoms of sexual performance anxiety?

Besides than psychological erectile dysfunction, anxiety can also lead to a loss of libido and complete avoidance of sex.

But even if you are not suffering from any of the above, stress and anxiety by themselves might severely hurt your sexual enjoyment! Instead of being in the moment and experiencing the feelings and sensations of sex, you are bothered with negative thoughts. This lack of concentration can also hurt your partner – your touch can become stiff and unpleasant and you can have trouble being intimate.

Sexual Anxiety Tips

Here are a few tips that could help you manage your performance anxiety:

  1. Communication – Often the anxiety comes from the man’s desire to make a positive impression on a new partner. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be honest about your anxiety. Sharing your concerns will defuse the stress. And your honesty can create openness between you, building intimacy and alleviate your sexual anxiety.
  2. This is not a race – A current theory suggests that an increase in sexual performance anxiety cases in recent years has been caused by unrealistic expectations developed from watching porn, which has become more accessible through the internet. Sadly, many people admit that they received their “sexual education” and had their first introduction to sex from watching pornography. But sex is not a race! It is not a test! And it is not a performance. It is fun, genuine, and real. You are not expected to last an hour in bed, have sex in positions only Olympic gymnasts can perform, or make your partner have 10 multiple orgasms. Remember, porn is a fantasy and fantasies are supposed to be unrealistic. Take some pressure off and just enjoy yourself.
  3. Defuse other stress sources – Stress of any kind has an impact on sexual performance. Try to initiate sex with a clear mind. If you can’t, it may be better to postpone until you are in a better frame of mind. Even if you can perform sexually, a lover who is preoccupied and not present, attentive, or in the moment is not a good lover.
  4. Take your time – Some men with performance anxiety have one goal—get it up and get in. When they lose or can’t have an erection, they try to arouse themselves by masturbating intensely, or if they still have an erection, penetrate quickly. Reacting to stress in these ways can make things worse. As we already know, stress has a negative impact. When you have sex, take your time, invest in foreplay, and create intimacy: things might sort themselves out.

Guided Imagery for Sexual Performance Anxiety

Mental Impotence Healer

Click here to learn more about the Mental Impotence Healer program

Learn more about sexual performance anxiety