Psychological impotence is a real thing, and it is much more common than you might think. The good news is that there are solutions that can help address the problem.
Psychological impotence (also called psychological erectile dysfunction) is a difficult problem to grapple with. Although it isn’t something people enjoy talking about openly, it is more common than you might imagine —and despite what you may think, it is a treatable condition.
What is psychological impotence?
Psychological impotence is a condition caused by psychological factors, in which a man struggles to get or maintain an erection. Stress, depression, guilt, low body image, relationship issues or anxiety—including performance anxiety, could all lead to ED.
Physical impotence, on the other hand, may happen naturally due to ageing or medical conditions that affect genital blood flow. These include type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular issues or pulmonary problems, for example.
As such, psychological impotence is not the sort of condition that should be treated by taking a pill — but it can be treated if you address the underlying cause right at the source.
How common is psychological impotence?
Erectile difficulties shouldn’t come as a surprise, because they’re fairly common. How common, exactly? The Cambridge Well-Being Institute suggests that as many as 10% to 20% of us have experienced psychological erectile dysfunction at some point in our lives.
However, the true number may be even higher than 20%. People who are ashamed may neglect to tell researchers about their embarrassing experiences. This means that psychological impotence is more common than most would think.
Men tend to take their erections for granted; and those who suddenly experience impotence are often shocked when it happens to them for the first time. You could be experiencing no problems in achieving or maintaining erections one day, and then suddenly have erectile problems with no obvious explanation the next.
Psychological impotence can happen to anyone
Sure, this condition might be common – but isn’t erectile dysfunction a problem that only middle and senior-aged men get? It is true that erectile problems are common in older men. It often happens due to lower levels of testosterone and reduced blood flow to the penis. But this study showed that a quarter of all men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction of some kind!
Psychological erectile dysfunction is a problem that can happen to both younger and older men, regardless of their physical health or sexual experience.
Let’s look at some questions you can ask to work out whether your erectile dysfunction is psychological in nature.
How can you tell if your erectile dysfunction is psychological?
First, medical conditions need to be ruled out. Let’s assume that you have never been diagnosed with a medical condition that is physically linked to erectile dysfunction, such as type 2 diabetes, obesity or heart disease. In this case you’re probably looking at a case of psychological impotence, given that there are no physical explanations for your difficulties.
There are two questions which can help you determine whether your erectile problems might be caused by psychological factors:
Do you get morning erections?
It’s natural for men to ‘rise and shine’ with an erection after a good night’s rest. Having said that, morning erections do become less frequent as you grow older. So, don’t stress if you’re not getting them as often!
What’s the significance of a morning erection? This tells you that the physical mechanisms which allow you to get an erection are intact. Therefore, if you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction with a partner, this is probably due to psychological factors.
Are you able to get an erection while alone?
Let’s say that getting erect whilst masturbating is not a problem. Again, this tells you that your body is physically capable of having an erection. But, something is stopping this from happening when you’re with a partner.
This is a sign that your impotence is caused by psychological factors: your brain is hijacking your body. It’s stopping it from doing what it would otherwise do naturally. But what makes a man experience psychological impotence? Let’s explore the most common underlying causes.
Causes of psychological impotence
These are some common psychological factors that can affect your erection by interrupting the signal between your brain and body:
People with sexual performance anxiety experience a debilitating fear of failure related to their performance in the bedroom. This might be a matter of worrying about your penis size, ejaculatory control, erectile function or ability to satisfy a partner.
Ironically, the more you worry about these sorts of things, the more likely you are to experience ED. This happens when your fear of failure is so overwhelming that it has a paralyzing effect.
When you’re stressed or anxious, your brain releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These cause your muscles to tense and your heart to beat rapidly. In some cases, it reduces blood flow to your penis which prevents you from having an erection.
These hormones trigger the famed “fight or flight” response. This primes us, physically and mentally, to evade danger. But, when your brain and body are focused on surviving a threat, getting an erection is simply not the sort of physical response that is prioritized!
Performance anxiety can be the original cause for ED, or it could be a result of a bad sexual experience. This could be caused by one of the ED factors listed below. The sexual performance anxiety cycle happens when you fail to achieve an erection once, and then become so worried about it the next time that you fail again.
Stress and anxiety
We all know what stress feels like – and some of us experience it more often than others. Maybe it’s your job or a difficult life event; maybe it’s conflict at home or financial concerns. Whether you experience chronic stress, occasional worries or even a full-blown anxiety disorder, this is likely to result in psychological impotence. Why?
When your brain and body are concerned about danger, they can’t necessarily be concerned about sex. Like we mentioned earlier, stress hormones are released to the blood stream when we’re stressed. These stress hormones prevent our bodies from achieving an erection.
Depression can impact all aspects of your existence. It can feel like an anchor that weighs you down and makes life that much harder to live. Research shows that 75% of people with depression also have problems in the bedroom.
This isn’t all that surprising. When you feel blue and low on energy, it can be extremely difficult to perform at your sexual peak. Furthermore, depression is linked to changes in your brain chemistry and nervous system. Some of these areas also affect your sex drive and ability to have an erection. This means that depression can change the way your brain works, making ED more likely.
Is your relationship experiencing troubled times? Well, this can “bleed over” into your sex life. Disagreements are a part of any normal relationship. But often such conflict gets swept under the rug without being properly addressed.
Satisfying sex requires you to both feel safe and intimate with one another. It’s no small surprise, then, that your ability to get an erection may suffer when you and your partner are not on the same page.
For some men, a dependence on pornography can cause impotence problems. Particularly when is it used as an aid to masturbation. You may find that you can only get an erection when you’re watching porn.
This is because on a neurochemical level the brain can become “trained” to expect and need pornography for sexual arousal to occur. Aside from that, watching porn can lead you to develop unrealistic expectations about your body and sexual abilities. This, in turn, can cause performance anxiety and psychological ED.
You can learn more about porn induced erectile dysfunction here.
Guilt is a painful and gut-wrenching emotion. It is identified in this article as one of the possible causes of psychological impotence. If your guilt is strong enough, it interrupts the signals between your brain and body, stopping you from getting an erection. It’s almost as if the unconscious mind punishes you by denying you pleasure in response to the guilt that you feel.
This is often seen in men who are having an affair. They often find that they can’t quite get it up for their illicit mistress – possibly due to the guilt that they feel about being unfaithful. However, guilt can also cause impotence in men who view sex as being shameful for religious or cultural reasons.
Low self-esteem and erectile dysfunction feed off one another. One study of Brazilian men showed that 95% of those with ED also had poor self-esteem! While it’s no surprise that erectile dysfunction can cause low self-esteem, did you know that the opposite is also true?
For example, men who start out with a low self-esteem may see themselves as unsexy or inadequate. This can lead to erectile problems in bed. Furthermore, people with a low self-esteem are more vulnerable to experiencing guilt, depression, anxiety and fear of rejection.
All of these factors make ED more likely. Once this happens once, the man’s self-esteem takes yet another blow. He’s then likely to become trapped in a vicious cycle of poor self-worth and ongoing impotence.
There are many circumstances that could lead a man to become sexually indifferent. Long-term relationships which become marked by routine, boredom and conflict represent one major culprit. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that if you’re not really interested in having sex anymore, you’re not likely to have an erection. What’s the brain science behind this?
Thinking about sex creates a burst of dopamine, which is a brain chemical that’s linked to excitement, motivation and pleasure. It also plays a crucial role in helping you to get an erection! In a man who is bored with or indifferent about sex, thinking about the act is unlikely to be accompanied by that dopamine burst, making it likely that the man will experience erectile dysfunction.
Treatment options for psychological impotence
If you think you’re suffering from psychological impotence, don’t lose heart. It’s a common issue that fortunately can be treated easily. Let’s take a look at some effective options for taking back control.
Talking to a therapist may help
Although erectile dysfunction is a sensitive subject and a private matter that most men don’t like discussing, speaking with a therapist can be helpful. Also keep in mind that this is a safe space in which you’re protected by confidentiality.
Therapy is a powerful way of targeting any feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety or inadequacy that might underlie your erectile difficulties. Working through your psychological issues or relationship problems with a mental health professional can help to eliminate the effects those issues have on your sexual performance.
Consider using guided imagery
Guided imagery therapy has proven very effective in treating psychological impotence. For example, research found that 70% of men treated with Guided Imagery and sexual re-education succeeded in overcoming their mental impotence and were able to get erection whenever they wanted to.
Guided imagery therapy is similar to guided meditation. The client is asked to relax, close his eyes and undergo visualization exercises that allow the mind to reassert control over the body by simply letting go of any unhelpful thoughts or feelings.
Guided imagery can be done with a therapist, or simply by listening to recordings that guide you through the process in the comfort of your own home.
Talk it out with your partner
Communication is key: don’t try to hide your erectile dysfunction from your partner, or to avoid discussing it out of embarrassment or shame. Sometimes just admitting that you are concerned can reduce the stress and anxiety you’re feeling. Remember, your partner may be just as confused and upset by this as you are, so try initiating a frank and open discussion on the issue.
Speaking openly with your partner can help you to realize whether some of the expectations that you have for yourself are unrealistic. Furthermore, this sort of open communication is important for increasing emotional intimacy between you, which can help to improve your sex life.
Re-educate yourself and adjust your expectations
There are a bunch of inaccurate and unhelpful misconceptions about sex that us men fall victim to. Because men are expecting the impossible from themselves, they often develop performance anxiety due to feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Contrary to what so many of us believe, this is what the latest research is saying:
- Penis size isn’t actually that important;
- The majority of women do not have an orgasm during penetrative sex; and this is perfectly okay.
- Clitoral stimulation is more important than penetration when it comes to satisfying sex.
Sex experts recommend that men with psychological ED re-educate themselves. By doing this you can start to readjust your unrealistic expectations about yourself. This can reduce anxiety which will help you to take back control of your erectile functioning.
Thinking of taking a pill? Think again
Viagra and Cialis, despite their aggressive marketing, are not the ideal treatment for men with psychological impotence. Rather, they are designed to treat physical erectile dysfunction that is rooted in blood flow malfunction. For the man with psychological ED, taking a pill may not work properly because they’re not tackling the psychological causes of the problem.
In fact, one study showed that men who use these medications recreationally, when they’re not really needed, were more likely to develop psychological impotence! Therefore, instead of wasting money, risking one’s physical health and worsening one’s erectile function, men with psychological impotence should opt for treatment strategies that truly address the root of the trouble.
To sum things up
Today more than ever, science is telling us that the body and mind are closely connected. There is no clearer demonstration of this than psychological erectile dysfunction. Psychological ED is an emotional barometer: it tells you that there are other areas of your life that need your attention.
Don’t ignore the signs that your body is sending – Take action and treat your psychological ED. Talking about it with your partner, seeing a sex therapist, re-educating yourself and using guided imagery will all help you take back control of your body, mind and destiny.